Episode Transcript
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[00:02:41] Speaker A: Get the earmalts I want until I spend more fortune, more of a fortune I like. Gosh, I hate hearing. It's. I mean they're great when they work, but it's a. It's a pain in the butt to maintain them.
Get.
You think with 2,500 bucks a pop I can get whatever the hell I want?
It doesn't work that way. Apparently I can customize a car for that much money but I can't do anything with a hearing aid.
Sounds great, but other and other than that, it's been a great day. But today's guest, her name is Catherine Giovanni and we're going to be talking about if I can pull this information up. I love technology.
It's not working anymore. It's not working.
Gosh, there we go.
She is a three time award winning bestselling author of 12 books. A dynamic speaker, trainer and advisor. Her latest work, the ultimate path to Forgiveness, Unlocking your power, offers profound insights into the transformation Transformative apologies, Power of Forgiveness. She is recognized as one of the original founders of the independent concierge industry.
Wow, she has a lot of titles.
[00:04:08] Speaker B: More than me.
[00:04:09] Speaker D: Scary.
[00:04:10] Speaker A: Anyway, let's welcome Catherine now and I'm looking forward to seeing where this conversation really goes.
Hey, Catherine.
[00:04:20] Speaker D: Hi, Jimmy. Thanks so much for having me.
[00:04:24] Speaker A: So today.
So before we get started, can you tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do, how you got started, and why you got started?
[00:04:31] Speaker D: Well, that's a lot of questions.
I got started on forgiveness years and years ago, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Back in the 1990s, I discovered a.
A little industry entrepreneur. We didn't, we had dial up floppy disks and these big massive computers that in the. You could go get a cup of coffee and a sandwich by the time it took to download anything. But we thought it was fast. Hey, technology, right?
So we read an article, my husband and I read an article on entrepreneurial magazine about this brand new industry called the concierge industry. And everybody's used to the concierge idea in a hotel, but very few people had brought it to mainstream America. So we flipped out. To make a very long story short, we flipped our business, turned it into a concierge business.
And then people started to call me and say, could you just help me figure out what to charge? So I developed, I wrote my first book. I've written 12, but that was the first one I wrote called the Concierge Manual. Well, then I started to teach customer service workshops. And in those days, you didn't bring a soft topic to concierge, to business workshops. It just wasn't done. But I can't legitimately teach you to be warm, friendly, and approachable if you're angry.
Because your anger is going to bleed through your body language whether you want it to or not. So I had to come up with a method of getting people to release their anger while they were working. And that's when I came up with forgiveness.
And I've been sober now for 34 years. And recovery programs, do tell you, one of the steps is you have to make amends and you have to forgive, forgive people. So that kind of all started me on the path to forgiveness. And it wasn't until 20, 20, 21 that my friends and I developed this very unique system of forgiving people.
[00:06:28] Speaker A: So my first question for you is, you absolutely have to forgive everyone or can you be selective because depending on what they have done.
[00:06:44] Speaker D: Well, first of all, forgiveness is selfish. It's personal. You do it for you. You don't have to reach out to anybody. You don't have to tell anybody. You don't have to talk to anybody. You can do it in the privacy of your own home. Nobody has to know. And forgiveness really means that you want the person out of your head. Bottom line. That's what it means.
See, everybody on the planet, your minister, your parents, your teachers, everybody says you have to forgive.
Nobody teaches you how.
So what if you don't want to?
What if the person you're thinking of hurt you so badly you don't want to? And they say, oh, well, Jimmy, you got to forgive and forget. Okay, I have a problem with that because there might be a unicorn person on the planet who can magically forget everything that ever happened to them. May God bless them. I'm not that kind of person, so I'm not going to forget.
So the method that I have is going to remove the emotional charge from your memory. You're still going to have a memory, but it's not going to emotionally charge you anymore.
And you forgive whoever you want to.
On a 10 scale, with 10 being unforgivable.
Dumpster fire.
I don't want to. And one being super easy. Somebody who cut you off on aisle four of the grocery store yesterday or stole your parking spot. You know, you can forgive these people. I want you to start with the easy ones and work your way up to the dumpster fire. But forgiving them doesn't mean they were right. They weren't. Forgiving them means I want you out of my head. That's what it means. It doesn't mean that what they did was right. And I'm not condoning it. It also doesn't mean I want a relationship with you. Because just because I forgive you does not mean I want a relationship with you. I probably don't, depending upon who we're talking about.
So it's. And it's. It's everybody watching and listening to this broadcast. You know, when you see the word forgiveness, you immediately think of that unforgivable person. That's fair. You don't have to forgive that person. You don't, because you don't. You can start with the number ones. You start with the easy ones, and you work your way up.
[00:08:58] Speaker A: I like that.
I think there's only a few people that might be staying in my dumpster pile.
Just because I'm not going to go into details because let's just say one involves a family legal scenario.
[00:09:18] Speaker D: Family is usually on that 10 scale I've discovered with the people that I've talked to around the US Family is way up there. Usually your sevens, eights, nines and tens. There's family mixed in there, everybody.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: And to be honest, it's not like it's the family I live with or some of my. But it's like some of the, let's say one extended family that just happened to do something really, really bad.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: And.
[00:09:53] Speaker A: And so I was like, I can't forgive that. And it's like, that's just no person.
[00:10:01] Speaker D: No you, honest to God, you don't have to give whoever you're thinking about. And everybody listening to this is thinking of that unforgivable person. And the reason you don't have to forgive them is there's so many other things you can forgive before you even get to that person. So let's talk about the number 10, right?
The you can forgive people, places and things.
Stay with me.
Einstein proved that energy is neither created nor destroyed. And I do have a whole science chapter in the book, and if you don't like to read, I have the audio version available. But there is a science chapter in there to prove what I'm saying for all the naysayers who are listening to this. But he proved that energy is neither created nor destroyed. It just transforms into something else, right?
So when you get mad, you think that your anger goes out of your mouth and just dissipates into the air. We all think that. It's not what happens. Apparently not.
Your energy, the anger energy is just going to hang around you. It's not going to go away until you clear it with forgiveness. So you're literally going to be. The more angry you are, the darker your energy field is going to be. Now, for anybody who's listening to this broadcast, I'm about to hold a cup in front of my face. And it's a very opaque thing. I can't see through.
So this cup represents anger. Look at my body language. I'm talking to you. And you know, I can keep my anger in the back of my mind. It's easy. I can go work out, I can go to the gym, I can go out to dinner. I can do anything I want. Easy. I can manage it. The longer I hold on to this cup, the more my arm is going to hurt. So now I've got to use two hands. Now look at my body language. Now I'm still able to talk to you. But I can't really do anything because I'm. The anger is really starting to bother me and now the longer I hold onto it, now that the glass is in front of my face and my life is pretty much stopped, you and I can't have a decent conversation because all I'm going to talk about is the anger. And I can't really see any opportunities. I can't see the next new job. I can't see a new fitness program. I can't see anything because I'm too focused on the anger. And my world has probably gotten small because it's all I can talk about, it's all I can think about. It's all the only. It's all the memories in my head. So who wants to be around me because I'm nasty all the time? Nobody wants to be around you. So my way of forgiveness is going to allow you to put down that little glass of anger. And starting with the super easy ones is going to help relieve some of your pain and it's going to allow them to get out of your head so you can actually focus and see opportunities.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: It's funny when he said, I think what you're saying is very.
Is amazing because I've noticed there's sometimes where like I used to have, let's just say, not to make me sound even crazier, but let us say I had a long list of just frustrations over the years of like, before I even got into business for myself, I had just like not even written down somewhere, just up here, a boatload of companies that I would never do business with anymore.
And I narrowed down that list quite a lot the last couple of years because they were just pretty much every anger, angry thought that I could possibly imagine just ended up on the list. It's like, okay, I was like, it might have been something like really stupid, let's say.
Let's just say if for instance, like maybe it was one of my old computers that I used to have that wasn't made right and it's like, oh, I'll never use brand again.
But I was like, well, you know, accidents do happen.
And one of my friends actually had the same exact laptop that I had. Both my dentist same kind of crapshoot at the same exact time too.
And.
And so my point was it's like, you know what? I'll probably never buy from this brand again just because I just didn't like how I made. But I was like, okay, maybe accidents do happen. Not everything's made perfectly. If only.
And and so I was like, but, you know, it doesn't mean I have to go shop for them ever again. And so I was like, forgives us. And it's like, but I just want to have a buy from them ever again.
[00:14:44] Speaker D: Well, that's the thing about forgiveness. You can forgive people, places and things because everything on the planet, and this has been proved in science, everything has energy around it. So the secret sauce of the whole thing is you forgive the energy as well.
So in this case, you would probably want to forgive the company and the energy around the company, you might want to forgive the computer and the energy around the computer. Why am I asking you to do that? Because you have the memory inside your head and at the end of the day you want the memory gone. You want to stop thinking about it, you want to stop being angry about it, so you can forgive anything. So let's say you were bullied in school years ago, right? I was bullied. And maybe on your way to work every day you have to drive by your old school and every once in a while you'll turn your head as you're driving and you'll see the school and the memories will flood you and you'll get mad again because you're going to remember, right? So let's say you're not ready to forgive the bully. Is that things you can forgive, you can forgive the building, you can forgive the kids who didn't help when you were being bullied. You can forgive the energy around these people, you can forgive the swings, you can forgive the ground, the table, the chair, the desk. You can forgive your childhood home, the bed, you know, the dinner table where you were getting bullied by your, by your family. These are all things that you can forgive. And at the end of the day, that's going to remove the memory, the bad part of that memory from your mind. So when you go drive by that school again, it's not going to bother you. It'll just be another building that you're driving by. And the energy, and forgiving the energy around the memory is how they kind of stay forgiven.
[00:16:30] Speaker A: You know, I, I, you know, I have literally, like I said, I've, I've literally. They cut the list in half. I have also.
I, I've been learning to actually forgive myself for some of the things I've done over the years for I did in public school I was not proud of.
[00:17:00] Speaker D: Forgetting yourself is the hardest person on the list, isn't it?
You know, a lot of my, a lot of my clients burn number 10 is themselves. And you're the hardest person to forgive. So the fact that you've already forgiven yourself for, that's outstanding. Absolutely outstanding.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: It wasn't easy because, you know, there were some people, let's say I ran into years later.
And I mean, I mean, not physically ran into, but I mean, just like they showed up somewhere.
And let's just say those people still saw me the way I was.
I mean, thinking I was the same person.
And. But every day when I look in the mirror, I was like, there's no way I'm the same person. Yeah, I still get angry here and there, but it's not like what I, what I used to be in public schools. Like, I was like, I'm definitely not that kind of person anymore. It's like as I got off some things, but then there's some things where, you know, something might trigger something else. Just because I'm just having a bad day or I just didn't sleep well at night and then it was like, wait, I know why I'm annoyed. And it's like I didn't sleep well at night. And so then everything that would just shrug off, I was like, I'm tense, I'm frustrated and I just like it. I was like, not a particular thing, but I'm just like, I'm grouchy. And I was like, when I'm grouchy, people should run.
[00:18:38] Speaker D: Forgive yourself for being grouchy. There you go. Everybody gets grouchy. Everybody does on the planet. And they're looking at you through what I call rose colored glasses because they're looking at you through the lens of childhood and you're not that child anymore.
And a lot of years have passed and a lot of water under the bridge and you've learned a lot of stuff, but they're still looking at you. Well, the last time I saw you, you were this, this and this.
So that's another thing you can add to that list of people and that you need to forgive is you can forgive the childhood version of you and the energy around it. You can forgive the person who was talking to you, who were looking at you through that. You could forgive that person.
All of these things are forgiven. And as you forgive, you're going to feel better, you're going to start, your food will taste better. You're going to start to see things, you're going to start see new opportunities that you just didn't notice before. And the person that you were meant to be is going to start to come out because you're going to start to pay attention because you won't be focused on the anger and the memories and all that. You're going to be able to pay attention to other things. What you're doing is you're. You're creating space in your brain for other great things.
[00:19:51] Speaker A: Exactly. Like, you know, there are some people who were in my life that were. Weren't.
I say they weren't really good for me at one point or another. They were purpose.
But then we just grew apart. And so I was like.
And so I finally said to myself, I was like, why try to rekindle this? And I just let it go. And it's like, it's not worth it.
Person's not very interested in it or reconnecting. Fine. And I was like, I don't think this person's right for my life anymore.
And I was like, bye. Done. See ya.
[00:20:39] Speaker D: There's a very, very famous quote by a guy named Jim Rowe who said, you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.
So who are you spending time with? I try and surround myself with people who are smarter or brighter than me.
And if you're looking at the people you spend time with and they're really not helping you move forward, you might want to consider moving on if you live with these people. Okay, it is what it is. But go listen to some great podcasts. Go out and make some new friends. Go read some really good, inspiring books. There's always something you can do.
[00:21:16] Speaker A: I agree. Like, you know, my parents like to watch the news a lot, and I get so sick and tired of the news. I was like, why?
My dad's always looking at something political on social media.
And it's like, how do you know if that's even true or not? And it's like, well, the Internet must be right. And it's like, oh, yeah, okay.
[00:21:41] Speaker D: And it's like, we are not there now, so maybe not.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And so I'm like, okay. You know, it's like, I can't stand politics. I don't like any of them. I don't like the news.
The news I care about is what's happening in technology, what's happening in the.
In the media.
Like, is it going to affect my business? Is this going to affect this? Is that. Can affect that. And I was like, that's more interesting to me. I was like, I can't understand stupid politics. I can't.
And so basically, like, when my parents are watching the news, I finally set boundaries with them. I was like, okay. When we're at the shore. If you want to watch the news, go do it in another room if I'm in the room that I'm in or I'm going to go leave until you're done watching the news. But I don't want to hear it while I'm at the shore up here in Pennsylvania. You can talk about it, but I don't really want to talk about when I'm at the beach. I don't really want to talk about Pennsylvania, but you can have it on. But after it's over, we're not discussing it anymore.
[00:22:59] Speaker D: Boundaries. Setting boundaries is very healthy. It's very good for your mental health.
[00:23:05] Speaker A: Now I don't mind if I might have read a headline and then I might ask them later on. It's like, hey, did you hear about this? And then we might discuss it because I brought it up. But that's only because I was like, I don't mind if I bring something to the table.
Not like while we're eating dinner, of course, but if we're just like just around each other, it's like I don't mind bringing something to the conversation when I choose to. But if I don't want to hear it at all, it's like, la la la, don't really care.
[00:23:42] Speaker D: That's right. Setting boundaries is perfectly healthy. And watching the news, the news is very, very negative. It's very dark. And I actually don't watch a either. I figure if something major happens, one of my two sons will call me and tell me about it. And they do.
So you know, I. We don't watch a lot of news around here just because it's so negative and I just can't pay attention to it 24 7. Just can't.
[00:24:07] Speaker A: Now I literally have this Google News on my phone and so even though I might like read something in the headlines or something, I. I'll read it. Not the whole article, but just that's the headlines. But I was like, I got just from it. It's like, no need to say anymore.
But I, I basically customize it to local news at the shore just to see what's going on. If I'm at the shore from. At my parents shore house just to see like is there any entertainment in the week or why not? I'll look into that.
I have customized topics. I like TV shows.
So I customize it the way I try as best I can do it. Sometimes Google puts other unhelpful things right in front of me and it's like, are you Interested in this? It's like, no.
[00:25:08] Speaker D: An old teacher of mine used to say garbage in, garbage out. Yep. So if you put garbage in your head, garbage is going to come out. If you put garbage in your body, well, you're going to not feel very well, you know, that kind of thing. So try and putting stuff that's good for you inside your mind that is loving and is more positive is going to do more for your life than putting all the negative and the sadness and the resentment and the bitterness and all of that, that's just going to make you feel bad. So forgive, allow you to forgiving people will allow the good stuff that you want to do enter in. Going to the gym, watching a good movie, the stuff that you really like, listening to some good music, it's going to allow you to pay attention, but stuff that you really want to pay att to that's actually good for you.
[00:25:55] Speaker A: And that's why I like like a 5050 balance. So I can say like, okay, here's some not so good news, but then here's something I'm interested in. And so I might scan the headline and say, got it. And I'm onto the next thing already.
And I'm not just like scrolling through. But then I might come across an article that's like, oh, you know, I actually want to redo this thing because it's about my, my industry for health and wellness or I'm just staying on top of media. And so I was like, okay, it's like still learning something new. And then if it's like TV shows or what's coming to Netflix, like oh, let me go check this out because I'm interested.
But it's not like I'm just reading all negative articles all day long.
But I don't know why people like getting news from social media. It's like literally I'm going to tell a secret to everybody. And it's probably not a secret pretty much because I've learned video editing from my school in college and I've learned it on my own during my business as well. Anybody can literally take a clip from somebody that does one thing, take a little snippet like that much.
And by the time when people are done just taking the bits and pieces, even if it's a one minute clip, they can make it sound like that person said something that they didn't say.
So just realize that when you're on social media, let's say it was like a political ad or something, not gun politics. Just seems using an example, somebody could literally take something from multiple different speeches, put in one minute clip. And it's like this person said that in fact, if you go back to some original clips and watch the whole entire thing, you would never, ever find where that came from.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: Hey, warriors. Jimmy Claire here. Tired of mainstream fitness bs? Unlock crazy fitness guys Elite podcasts. You'll get exclusive merch, exclusive episodes, and bonus motivation. Or divergent wellness hacks. Blow up your game. Now go to crazyfitnessguide.com and click on the mall link or click on the link in the show notes to view pricing and more information.
[00:28:36] Speaker D: Because you're doing it for you, you're not doing it for them. It doesn't mean they were correct. It just means you want to be free. It also doesn't matter if they're alive or dead, with all due respect, because you're doing it for you. So where they are or are not doesn't matter at all. So if you're writing down your list, you can literally write down anybody. And you sit in the privacy of your own home and a fat bunch of worksheets in the book. But sitting of your privacy of your own home.
And you do this for yourself. And you don't have to tell anybody if you don't want to. Now, if you want to reach out and talk to people, that's great, but if you don't, you don't have to. You do this for you because you're the prisoner, not them.
They're probably not thinking about you at all, which might make you angry, too. You want them to be as miserable as you, right? It's like, I'm mad. You know, you should be mad, too. They're not. They're living your life, and you're the one staying home angry.
[00:29:29] Speaker A: That's a bummer.
[00:29:29] Speaker D: I want everybody to say shine. You know, it's, it's. And it's like going on Facebook and you see one of your childhood bullies, right? And you see that they broke their leg. And I don't care who you are, 9 out of 10 of us are going to go, oh, well, they deserve that. You know, you're going to. It's going to kind of in your head. You're going to go, I'm not exactly upset about this. They broke their leg. Oh, you poor thing.
And what forgiveness is going to do for you is you'll be able to go and see that exact same post. And you won't care.
You won't care. You're not going to say, oh, karma, you're just going to just go.
And you're just going to keep going. It's going to remove the emotional charge.
[00:30:10] Speaker A: Well, it's funny that you said that, because I went back to my high school reunion a couple of years ago, and I saw one of the bullies that picked on me in high school.
He didn't recognize me. He came, like, over my way. Never said a word to him.
And.
But the thing was, is that, I mean, like, he was never muscular. He was, like, pretty much like a twig. Always skinny and whatnot. And he, like, no muscle, nothing. And he really looked full of himself because I don't think you played any sports, because like you said, like I said, I think you need a little bit of muscle to be able to participate in something. Maybe not necessarily karate, if you're just doing it for a workout or whatnot, like this. But he had this, like, jersey on with his last name on it. I'm like, okay, like, in my analysis, like, I mean, they weren't, like, dressed up, like, super nice, but my goodness, this guy wears his last name on a jersey to this place. I'm like, okay, he's a little bit too old. I mean, it's like, yes, I'm gonna. It's like me going into somewhere. It's like, yes, I'm gonna wear Claire on my last.
And it's like, really?
He kind of looked smug, too, but he never said anything to me, and I didn't say anything to him. And I was like, well, I'm glad. Something that didn't change.
[00:32:01] Speaker D: Silence was golden. In this particular case, yeah.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: And I remember when I was. When I stood up to the bullies, I remember we kind of had this agreement where that they didn't bother me, I didn't bother them.
And so I guess he.
So maybe he.
Maybe he.
I don't think he ever glanced my way, but if he did, I think he remembered the deal because he just never said anything to me.
He just, like, moved, like, just squeezed between me and someone else to get a drink from the bar.
I mean, I wasn't drinking that night or anything.
It just happened, that being a local bar near us. And so I went, but I was like, I never have to come back ever again.
[00:32:57] Speaker D: That's the thing. In some part of your mind, you probably forgave him, and there was really very little emotional charge. Now, you're not going to forget, because I don't know anybody who can forget these things. But when you met him, it just.
It didn't set you off like it normally would. Because you'd already quit it to bed, you'd already forgiven it, and you'd moved on. And clearly he must have, too.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
All right.
Because when I really scared him, when in high school, maybe. Maybe that terror kept in that day. It's like.
I think so.
I mean, I didn't do anything evil.
[00:33:37] Speaker D: It doesn't bother you anymore. And you were able to be in the same place and not bother each other. And that's beautiful. You know, it's like going back for Thanksgiving dinner. And, you know, you're going to be sitting next to Aunt Martha, for example, and apologies to anybody whose name is Martha. I'm not picking on you.
You got to sit next to Aunt Martha. You know what she's going to say. You know how she's going to act. She does it every year, and you're sitting next to her every year, even though you've been. You beg to them, please don't sit me next to Aunt Martha. But somehow you're next to her because nobody else wants to sit next to this person. So by forgiving Aunt Martha and the energy around Aunt Martha, it's not going to prevent anybody from you sitting next to her, but she's not going to bother you as much.
And what she says, you're going to hear it, but it won't bother you as much. In fact, you might even laugh about it because you're going to expect it. You know, one person looked at me and said, I'm just going to make it a drinking game. Every time she says what I think she's going to say, I'm just going to take a drink. Okay, however you want to get through it, it's fine with me. But it's. She's not going to bother you as much.
So it's going to. It's going to be easier. And everybody at the table is going to notice that she's not bothering you as much. And people will say, did you get another haircut? Did you lose weight? What are you doing differently? You look so good and you're acting so good. And you can tell them or not tell them. That's up to you, but that's what forgiveness will do for you. It's literally changing you from the inside out.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: Well, I know some of my software, and let's say, for instance, like, for.
Let's just say there's.
When I get annoyed at somebody, whether it's like some developers who are just not getting the point, or a better example is that there's one company that I used to go live on their platform. They had to keep on taking away my. They had this badge system. It's not like a verify system like social media has, but they had this coaching badge and it's like I used to have it when it was called a different platform than they, but then when another company took over, they took it away from me. I'm like, really?
And so I said to myself, like, do I even want to go back on the platform as I can still use here and there, but I can't go live on it. But I was like, do I. Can we care to go live on it anymore?
[00:36:18] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: But my point being is like the response between emails from me to that company is like once in the blue moon that they respond and when they do, they say, we're sorry that you had this bug. And it's like, I didn't say anything about a bug here.
[00:36:39] Speaker D: They're probably script.
[00:36:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
And so I was. Instead of me getting frustrated, I was like, you know, I could just delete my account right now and never do anything with them over again.
I was like, oh, I could just apply for the badge for going live on it and say, you know, I used to have this until you took over and then.
And then you took it away without any reason whatsoever. I was like trying to just grandfather me in, but I was like, but basically I can't. I couldn't figure out. So I was like, I'm just going to put a pin in that option. And I was like, maybe I'll revisit that at some point. But it's like, it's not my top priority.
[00:37:30] Speaker D: When you run into a brick wall, you've got a couple choice and a lot of motivational coaches will say, you got to break through the wall and get out that jackhammer. And here are some tools that are going to help you get through the wall. Okay, hold on a second.
I'm going to tell you to pull out a few bricks out of the wall, walk around the wall, keep going, circle back when you can.
The wall's still going to be there, but you might as well forget what you can't and keep going. And if you want to circle back and forgive them later, brilliant. If you don't, brilliant.
Well, it's incorrect.
[00:38:10] Speaker A: Well, it's like one. Yesterday I had to do some. A little bit of work when, when I was. When a friend of was visiting me at my premature house and I was basically, I took two hours to get some stuff done and then I noticed that there was this error happening with one of my social media marketing tools that I used my all in one tool that I used for posting on my platforms and it only happened with my profiles on the platform. Wasn't anything with Crazy Fitness Guy or anything. It's like, this is really strange.
And the integration that they have with Zapier. And I was like, okay, I'm getting frustrated.
I could feel it building up inside me. And one thing I did, instead of me getting a little frustrated because I can't contact Zapier because they put their support under a payroll just like Microsoft did and AOL did one thing I said too, when I reached out to this, my marketing tool, I was like, now, before you asked me to go talk to Zapier, I was like, it's not a possibility because I'm not going to go pay them for support.
Because one, you could either get really great support, or two, you can get really bad support.
And then I just wasted a buttload of money. And they cost by the month, so you can pay for year at least. I don't think so. But my point being.
So I reached out to my marketing tool and I said, hey, can we meet to troubleshoot this? And it's like it says it's an error on your end or through Zapier. I don't, I'm not blaming anybody. I don't know.
I can't tell Zapier, but it's like, I can't troubleshoot with them. Can we do something? And so they handed me my they schedule to schedule something with them. It's like, oh, that went really easy years ago. I probably would just fume. It's like, now what do I do? I had to work through this problem. It's like, that's good somewhere else. Can you do this?
[00:40:38] Speaker D: When I come up with a problem and I really do do this, I've been doing it for years. And let's say it's a really bad problem I have to solve, or it's, you know, people fighting or something, or maybe somebody screwed up or something like that. Before I get angry, I always say, what is the most loving way I can fix this? Really say that to myself. And I'll sit down and I'll get really quiet because I always kind of think it's better to think before you speak. And I'll try and take a couple seconds and think to myself, what is the most loving way I can get this resolved? And usually I figure it out pretty quickly once I have that thought because it's so much Better to laugh than it is to cry. I look horrible when I'm crying and angry, so I much prefer to joke and laugh and, you know, get through life that way. It's a lot more fun.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: Well, exactly what I did yesterday when I contacted my social media marketing tool, I, I said, it's like, when I brought up the whole zapier thing, I said to them, it's like, hey, guess what? I was like, I can't count that zapier because of they put behind payable. And I was like, oh, man, we already know how that worked out for well, so.
And it's like just making a bunch of jokes.
[00:41:50] Speaker D: But if you can get through support at all, I, I've discovered in the, in the, in today's world, it's very hard to even find a support, you know, person.
If you get support on Facebook, good luck to you.
[00:42:04] Speaker A: I know.
[00:42:05] Speaker D: Good luck. I've tried good luck.
[00:42:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
But basically what I'm saying is that instead of me getting a little annoyed, I, I, I made a joke out of it and like, oh, yeah, well, you know how well it worked out with all that stuff.
They're, I don't know how they're doing financially, but I was like, yeah, I don't think anybody's paying for them for support. So I could be wrong.
[00:42:31] Speaker D: But, you know, going to life, but forgiving as much as you can and treating things with love and treating things with laughter and taking all these things with a grain of salt. As my grandfather used to say, life is going to make your life less stressful and you get rid of all that toxicity because anger is toxic.
[00:42:54] Speaker A: It rubs off on you.
[00:42:56] Speaker D: It does rub off on you 100%.
[00:43:00] Speaker A: My next few questions for you is, why does people not practice forgiveness?
Is it just because they don't want to do it and they rather just be grumpy?
[00:43:13] Speaker D: They don't know how. Nobody teaches people how to forgive. So when somebody says, you have to forgive, and you're immediately thinking of that unforgivable, they hurt me a lot. And you're in your head, you're going, I don't want to. So you don't. Because it's too big and too dark to face. So my method is, okay, you have to forgive. Let's start with the easy ones that you're willing to forgive. It could be we're standing next to somebody and they brush their teeth wrong. It could be something as simple as that. They took a sip out of their coffee and they made that slurp sound and it drove Me crazy. Okay, Forgive that person for slurping their coffee. You can forgive these little things, and that's going to help you eventually get to the big thing. Now, how long will it take you to get to the big thing? You might get there tomorrow. You might get there in a couple weeks, a couple months.
This is a marathon. It's not a sprint. It'll take as long as it takes. But be kind to yourself, because this is a process. It's a breadcrumb trail, and you're just going to kind of follow the breadcrumbs, but you start with the easy ones. And that's what the problem is with most people. They don't know how to forgive, so they're immediately going to the hardest thing on their list. Yeah, that's not all. That's not my reaction. I like to do the easy ones first.
[00:44:28] Speaker A: Yeah, that definitely sounds like sometimes where I'm going straight to the hard one.
[00:44:36] Speaker D: Yeah. And you go straight to the hardest thing on your desk that a client is giving you. And I'm going to tackle the hardest one. Thought, okay, if there's a deadline, you're gonna have to, you know, it is what it is. But if there's no deadline and you have a choice, well, I'm gonna cork off the easy ones first, and then I'll get to the hard one after I've had a cup of coffee.
[00:44:56] Speaker A: That's basically what I did when I reached out to the marketing tool, because, like, okay, I. I have a couple more things coming out this month. Need to have the tool to work, and. But then it's like, okay, I want to make this.
I want to make this as easy as possible. So for my upcoming trip, I'm not feeling like, is this going to work? I don't know.
And just keeping me guessing all at the same time. It's like, I don't like the formula of this.
So I decided it was like, just reach out to the support that you can reach out to. I'm sure that they probably have somebody keep her on ball on that end because they obviously made an integration. And it's like, it can be literally an easy fix.
When I meet with them.
I forget when I'm meeting with them, but it's in my email. But I was like, how bad can it be? I was like, I already met with them once for a different kind of issue, and they fixed it, kept me in the loop. Took a few weeks, but I was like, as long as you fix it, what the heck?
[00:46:09] Speaker D: Do the easy ones first.
It's like grab having the low hanging fruit off the tree and waiting to get to that fruit that's all the way at the top. It's hard to reach. So you know, forgive what you can and move on and forgive yourself for not being able to forgive. If there's somebody in your list that you just don't want to, you just don't want to let it go, that's fine. Forgive yourself for not being able to let them go. And you can even say that in your mantra. I forgive myself for not wanting to forgive. And that might be the only forgiveness you do for the next few weeks. That's fine time. It's a start. It's a place to start. Baby steps.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: So how do. How come no one teaches this at all? Because it seems like it's straightforward.
As a kid, you always been taught to forgive, but why does no one teach this?
[00:47:00] Speaker D: That's a hard question to answer because I've done a lot of podcasts in the last month and every single podcaster has looked at me and said, I've never heard this before and you are too. I'm not sure why nobody's ever heard this before.
It's a new method that my friends and I came up with and it seems pretty cut and dry to me. But forgiving energy and starting with the easy ones and working your way up to that dumpster fire, it just seems to me that the logical way to begin your forgiveness journey. And as you start to feel better, because you will, you're going to physically start to feel better.
You're going to. It's going to. It's going to start to make a business. It's going to start to make a difference. Now, one word of warning that I just have to give everybody.
I'm an overachiever. I really have written 12 books, so clearly I'm an overachiever. And I've been God's guinea pig for a long time. And I go through these crazy things and then I write about them.
So when I sat down to make my list, I thought, this is going to be great. I'm going to write down 50, 60 people, but I'm going to forgive it. Like a band aid. I'm going to rip this off. I'm going to be a new person tomorrow. I'm going to do it all at once. And I'm it's going to be great.
Didn't work out that way because I actually spent the next three days in bed with what everybody thought was a stomach flu. And it wasn't the stomach flu. It was my body's way of getting rid of all of that anger energy.
So I suggest to Everybody, you do 10 at a time. Do it before you go to bed because 8 out of 10 people will get really sleepy when they do these forgiveness exercises. And it's because it's your body's way of healing itself. Your body heals itself when it's sleeping.
So take some time to sleep and rest and you'll be fine. I have science to back this up. There was a study done in Japan by a Japanese researcher called Masumoto. I might not be pronouncing it correctly. And it was a Japanese water study.
And these pictures are read on Google. They're really interesting. And he took I'm dumbing this down really far in the interest of time.
Two things of water, one container of water. He said he just talked to it, said loving things, told it it loved it, said all these great things. The other container, water, speared hate at it, said horrible things. Then he put it all under a microscope. But water, he said negative things too. Had these brown and black formations that looked really thick. It and the water he spoke love to and said nice things to. Had these beautiful white crystal formations that were gorgeous. Pictures are red online.
Why am I telling you this, Jimmy? Because your body is mostly water. So when your self talk is negative and you're angry and you're yelling at people or you're mad, what is it doing to the water molecules in your body? So when people say anger is toxic, I'm all about, okay, how is it toxic?
This is how. Because you're literally turning the water molecules in your body a different color. So when you forgive, your body is going to want to release that and heal itself. And it usually does it when you're sleeping.
[00:50:18] Speaker A: So how does one feel like they've done when they're finished forgiving? How do they know when it then when it's left?
[00:50:31] Speaker D: Got you on that one, you can go on Facebook or you go to a party and you can look at that person's name or you can look at that building or you can look at that bully, if you will, and you don't feel anything.
You don't care.
You don't think any good thoughts, you don't think any bad thoughts. It's neutral. You don't care.
And that's what I'm looking for.
I'm not trying to erase the memory. I'm trying to remove the emotional baggage that's attached to that memory and that person.
So when you can look at somebody like that example earlier, I said, aunt Martha, at Thanksgiving, you can walk into that Thanksgiving table, you look at Aunt Martha, you're not going to care, okay? You're going to care a little bit because you have to sit next to her again. And you've done it for 10 years in a row. But it's not going to hold the same. Same emotional charge that it did before. You're going to be neutral. That's how you know it's gone. You won't care.
[00:51:33] Speaker A: And I was like.
Like when I ran into this one person at my cousin's wedding and.
And even though everybody else made a big fuss about it, I was like, who cares?
[00:51:48] Speaker D: Exactly. You had forgiven. You had done without knowing it. You had personally forgiven this person and you didn't care. Now, the family around you might be very emotional about it, but you don't care.
Why is everybody making a fuss? I'm over it. Y' all should be too. You know, that kind of thing. I had a client a while back who went through something similar, and she said, I bought your book and I left it on the coffee table.
And I said, why? And she said, because I'm hoping they're going to pick it up and read it.
And I followed up with her two weeks later, and I said, did they pick it up? She said, no, it's still on the coffee table. But it makes me feel better when I see it there. Nobody picks a book up because they're all thinking of their number 10 unforgivable person. They're looking at the COVID going, oh, I don't think so. I don't want to do that.
But the thing is, you. You want to be able to go back into the past and into your memories, and you want to be able to look at it unemotionally.
And that's a beautiful thing, when you can go back there and it doesn't bother you anymore because now you can live your life because you don't have to think about it all the time.
[00:53:00] Speaker A: Well, two of the things I want to say about that, when I was at this party for one of my friends, when she was in the area, she.
Two. Two of my teachers in high school came to me. I wouldn't say it really necessarily bothered me because let's just say it was kind of like. Kind of a continuation of them treating me like the same person.
But I kind of just shrugged everything off, but I just kind of went back at them. It wasn't like a little bit like a jab was jabs with my words. But I was like, yeah, I was like, let's say that person that I was referring to, she reminded me of the Wicked Witch of the West.
And she didn't have a green face or anything, but she had.
I'm not going to subscribe her, but.
But, for instance, she called me lazy all the time when I was in high school, even though I was getting straight A's.
In fact, I got all straight A's in 12th grade, and I got excused from all the finals because I would literally have to fail all the finals in order to not graduate. So I was like, doesn't sound make me lazy.
And so basically, when I saw her coming into the party, I was like. I was like, oh, great, we left a witch. And.
Trust me, what she said to me there was not as bad as calling her a witch.
But I shrugged it off. Like, she wants to keep seeing me. The same old same old. It's like, I'm not the same old same old.
But it made me feel great.
I don't care. I was like, we're out of high school. I was like, I'm out of high school. He's like, you'll never see me ever again. And it's like, and if you do, it's like, well, please don't forgive all
[00:55:17] Speaker D: of it and move on. You don't need these people living rent free in your head.
[00:55:21] Speaker A: Yeah. I was like, slam the door.
[00:55:25] Speaker D: Let's move on. As I said, I mean, forgive what you can and walk away and circle back later if you want to, but you don't have to circle back and actually visit the school. You can circle back from your own office in your own town and just think about it.
But forgive what you can and move on 100%.
[00:55:43] Speaker A: So my last few questions for you is, who's your favorite podcaster? Why feel free not to say me.
[00:55:52] Speaker D: I actually listen to some of your podcasts and I like them very, very much. I've run into some of.
All the names are kind of eluding me right now, but there's some really good podcasts out there. I enjoy them very much.
[00:56:08] Speaker A: And where can people follow you, find you, learn more about who you are and what you do well.
[00:56:13] Speaker D: The book, the forgiveness book, Unlocking Power of Forgiveness. Right. It did that. The name, you can go to Amazon and it's the ultimate path to forgiveness, unlocking your power. I should have done that. It's on Amazon. The audiobook, the ebook, and the paperback are all available. And you can find me at my website katherine giovanni.com. and thanks to my mother, Catherine is spelled a little weird. Thanks, Mom. And it's spelled K A T H A R I N e. Giovanni.com.
[00:56:46] Speaker A: trust me, that's a weird name because I.
Let's just say I've met some people not going to name any names, obviously, but let's just say that they're. I don't say weird. They're very unique.
And I'm like, like, huh? I wouldn't necessarily ever come up with that name. But I'm not gonna judge because I'm not a judgmental person.
[00:57:10] Speaker D: To understand how anybody spells their name, I always ask first.
[00:57:15] Speaker A: Everyone else is fake.
[00:57:18] Speaker D: That's it. Thank you.
[00:57:21] Speaker A: And just out of curiosity for.
Can you get the books in all the bookstores and whatnot?
[00:57:31] Speaker D: Probably, yeah. Available everywhere.
[00:57:34] Speaker A: That's good. Because I, I find sometimes where when I'm looking for another book, I was like, wait, why can't I ever find this thing? And it's like there's one person, I went on their podcast once and he only exclusively, like he only promotes it on Spotify. And it's like he. You know how many people you're missing out on? I mean, I never said that to the person, but I was like, what?
[00:58:01] Speaker D: Don't have it in stock. They'll order it for you because it's published by England Spark and England Sparks books go all over the world. So I'm sure if it's not there, they'll order it for you.
[00:58:11] Speaker A: Makes sense. So thank you for being on the show and I would love to have you come back on in the future.
[00:58:17] Speaker D: Ah, it's my pleasure. Be happy to.
[00:58:20] Speaker A: Awesome. Hope. Hope you have a good rest of your day.
[00:58:22] Speaker D: Thank you. You too.
[00:58:26] Speaker A: So that's all the time we have for today. If you enjoy the show, please leave a. Leave a review. Let me know how we're doing, but be polite. In the meantime, stay healthy, stay safe and stay motivated. And I'll be back for another brand new episode, Crazy Fitness Guy Healthy living Podcast. Slash recalling motivation. That's Crazy Fitness Guy.
[00:58:44] Speaker C: In the meantime, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Crazy Fitness Guy Show.
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